Doing the Deed

My partner Than and I have bought a house. It is my first house and his third, so you might say I am delirious with unbridled excitement while he is merely just really excited. As we started the process of buying a house (which is very long these days due to the recent housing crash), I started to spend a lot of time thinking about Mary Wollstonecraft, the Ladies of Langham Place, and the Married Women's Property Act of 1882. (Google these... I am too lazy to add hyperlinks which is probably poor blogging etiquette, but alas.)

Early feminists argued four main rights for women - the right to an education, the right to healthcare, the right to participate in government, and the right to own property: with the purchase of this house I am about to realize that fourth and final right. Yes I know, I know... a mortgage means the bank owns your house and we won't literally own the house for several decades, but still, my name on that piece of paper means I have rights to exactly 1/2 of our property. Of course, it also means I carry exactly 50% of the responsibility of caring for the house, which is a sobering thought. Leaky faucet? Busted furnace? Clogged drain or garbage disposal? Bats in the attic? Guess I better buy a tool belt and rededicate some of my shoe money to potential house repairs.  

When we applied for a mortgage, it was a given both of our names would be on the deed. (My dad's only comment was to be sure that if I decided to change my name, I submit a name correction to the bank ASAP.) Until recently, I had assumed all (or at least very many) of married women today owned their own home, especially women my age. As I talked to several friends about my impending home-ownership, I quickly discovered this is not the case. Several friends told me their name is not on the deed - their husbands own their homes outright. For some it was easier to get a mortgage with only one applicant, others married their husband after he had already bought a home and they haven't gotten around to adding their name, and for others they actually have no interest in ownership and find it easier to let their husband take care of the paperwork! These conversations gave me mixed feelings, some which I haven't voiced yet. The feminist in me wants to knock their heads together and yell "Are you kidding me?! You are passing on your right to property ownership because it's too much paperwork? For god's sake, I don't remember anyone ever saying fulfilling your fundamental human rights didn't require work!" At the same time, the princess in me wants to say "I totally get it - doing nothing and getting everything is definitely the way to go. You are lucky to have married well."

I would like to point out that whether a feminist, princess, or combination thereof,  my friends (as most married women) continue to invest in their home - they help with the mortgage, clean and decorate the interior, mow the lawn, paint the walls, refinish the wood floors, sweep out the garage, clean the gutters, the list goes on. Why would you invest money and labor in something you do not actually own? And why would someone who loves you as an equal partner with a promise to care not just for you but about you until the end of your days let you invest in something you do not own?

I suppose this is a soap box, and I suppose the most fundamental human right is the right to make your own choices, so I guess the most I should do is politely remind my friends they have the right to own property if they would like to. But I sincerely hope any woman who chooses to live in a home she does not own does so because that is absolutely what she wants, and not because she can't spare an afternoon for paperwork.